light it up
Monday, November 11, 2013
What is true discipleship? What results from true discipleship? How do you undergo true discipleship?
Just the many times when I've thought I've understood what discipleship meant or even have the guts to think that I'm a disciple of Jesus, I am brought back to my original state where I am forced to ask myself this question again: Am I a true disciple of Jesus?
If one asked me what discipleship meant, I could have thrown out passages after passages of "theologically correct" answers based on my accumulated knowledge from Hanik, BTJ, cell word prep etc. However if I'm made to examine my life, I really wonder if I'm truly considered one.
True discipleship leads to a transformed life.
I feel like for the longest time, I'm fighting losing battles. I looked at myself and wished that I could be the light, the salt that my Father in Heaven would be pleased with. Yet it seems as though if I were a light, my light is dimly lit, flickering as the cold wind blows. If I were a salt, a salt that ironically has lost its saltiness. What good are disciples with transformed life in the kingdom of God? Except to be thrown away and trampled by the dogs.
Labels: True discipleship
1:14 AM
Sunday, November 3, 2013
"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."
-Jeremiah 17:14
Tough times like these when it makes you question if God is indeed watching over you. You thought you've tried your very best to please your master in every way you can. You thought that you had laid down your kernel of seed to die so that it flourishes into a harvest field. You thought.
Yet you wait in anticipation for the master to come. Wait for him to bring you from place to place. But ad mist the waiting it wasn't hope that was bringing you through. Rather, dagger after dagger comes stabbing through your heart, one after the other, leaving you no time to heal before the next.
I have no right to be angry. I hang my head in despair. Before the Holy One, I'm stripped bare- Exposed of my wounds, exposed of my shame, exposed of my inner most secrets and exposed of the masks I wear.
It's really tiring to be strong all the time.
So I wait in the secret place to run into my beloved arms again.Though my heart breaks into million tiny little pieces from the weight of my sorrow, still He waits for the right time to pick up those broken pieces again. I just need to trust, continue to trust and even after a lifetime of learning, still trust.
He knows my name, He knows my every thought. He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call.
-Jeremiah 17:14
Tough times like these when it makes you question if God is indeed watching over you. You thought you've tried your very best to please your master in every way you can. You thought that you had laid down your kernel of seed to die so that it flourishes into a harvest field. You thought.
Yet you wait in anticipation for the master to come. Wait for him to bring you from place to place. But ad mist the waiting it wasn't hope that was bringing you through. Rather, dagger after dagger comes stabbing through your heart, one after the other, leaving you no time to heal before the next.
I have no right to be angry. I hang my head in despair. Before the Holy One, I'm stripped bare- Exposed of my wounds, exposed of my shame, exposed of my inner most secrets and exposed of the masks I wear.
It's really tiring to be strong all the time.
So I wait in the secret place to run into my beloved arms again.Though my heart breaks into million tiny little pieces from the weight of my sorrow, still He waits for the right time to pick up those broken pieces again. I just need to trust, continue to trust and even after a lifetime of learning, still trust.
He knows my name, He knows my every thought. He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call.
Labels: The journey to discovering love.
2:44 AM
Friday, March 8, 2013
9:29 PM
Monday, February 11, 2013
So 2013 hath come...
It's been only the a month and a half into the year. Changes, events, transitions keeps coming in still.
On days like these you just want to sit by and reflect upon the things which have happened. You can't seem to understand anything anyway.
Many say that I live in my own happy bubble. Do I? Have I?
Daddy God you just seem to be bringing out of it.
Is it necessarily good?
Have I changed? Or am I being changed?
I don't know.
It just seems that all I want now is really you, God.
It's been only the a month and a half into the year. Changes, events, transitions keeps coming in still.
On days like these you just want to sit by and reflect upon the things which have happened. You can't seem to understand anything anyway.
Many say that I live in my own happy bubble. Do I? Have I?
Daddy God you just seem to be bringing out of it.
Is it necessarily good?
Have I changed? Or am I being changed?
I don't know.
It just seems that all I want now is really you, God.
10:49 PM
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Days like these where you just sit around and stare blankly into space.
You ponder. Ponder about the things in life.
Reflecting at the things you did.
You stop and sighed. You can't continue it anymore.
Because all that keeps coming to you only continuously proves what a total loser you are.
Stop and Stare.
And disappear.
You ponder. Ponder about the things in life.
Reflecting at the things you did.
You stop and sighed. You can't continue it anymore.
Because all that keeps coming to you only continuously proves what a total loser you are.
Stop and Stare.
And disappear.
6:24 PM
Sunday, September 2, 2012
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO TALK TO SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW.
Forget it. It doesn't really matter anyway.
7:42 AM
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Up and down this roller coaster ride.
Don't know where I'm going,
Don't know where I'm heading.
Spinning. Turning. Rushing. Falling.
Yeah I am indeed in for a roller coaster ride.
Hear my cries. Hear my pleas.
Hear my screams for mercy please.
For I know you're there.
Always beside me- I know.
Maybe God can tell me why. It's this rush of feelings again that overwhelms me. This sense of dread, anger and frustration. Yet ad mist lies the tinge of this sense of excitement, happiness and ecstasy. Oh the state of utopia washing over me, bathing in sweet scent of joy.
What is this feeling?
Yet nothing is sweeter than honey except thy's words to me. Let me fix my eyes upon the joy, the light and the lover of my soul.
Labels: The journey to discovering love.
9:58 AM