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And yep partner, I totally understand what you meant by not being close to either your old friends or your new ones. I was packing my room the other day when I came across many old letters and cards. Reading them made me want to cry. Some I regretted not putting in more effort to sustain the relationship, others simply touched me. I filed those letters in nice clear folders, I want to remember them forever, no matter how much I would have changed in the future.

I realised that most of my letters came from Delta 09'. Yep tofus, I kept your letters and even have evidence of how Kelly's fat handwriting changed into the thin slender handwriting she has right now. Dug up those old photos just to squeal in laughter at all our morbid haircut. I miss you guys so much. Oh, I even saw the cadets' letters. It just made my heart wrenched to look back and hoped that I had been a better NCO then. But alas, those beautiful Crescent days are over. How I wish I could have gone back. These days I had a lot of fun with my classmates and cell members too but the feeling just seems different. It's different when you meet up with tofus, because you feel like you're home again.

I don't know what the future holds. I'm just afraid. Afraid of being left alone again. Afraid of feeling lost. Afraid of being abandoned. Afraid of being made a substitute again.

I guess my list of afraid is never-ending.